A year ago at this time I was a senior in college.
I had no idea where I would be in one year.
At home? Down the block from my campus house? Up north- in a real city in a studio apartment?
Working as a waitress, a secretary, interning for an events company or museum–
And that was only September..the beginning of an emotional roller coaster.
In the past couple of weeks living in a sweet little apartment in the heart of the Emerald City I have met people from all over.
This has taken serious effort and made me realize how lucky I was to have such a wonderful community handed to me in college.
Using the term loosely, I have become friends with Seattle natives, New Yorkers, Bay Area Bros, Wisconsins, a gal from New Jersey, a Texan, and that doesn’t include my co-workers.
All of us shared similar stories dealing with fear of what was to come after graduation and the lucky older ones were able to share their success stories. I’ve gone to trivia nights, gone on dates, wine and cheese nights and mingled with these people and heard their life stories in a nutshell.
One distinction between the recent grads vs. a couple years out was having a hobby vs. trying to remember what having free time was and how we use to enjoy hobbies.
This time last year I was keeping myself so busy that I wouldn’t have free time to be left alone with my thoughts. It wasn’t until my 120 mph train crashed that I had to begin rebuilding my tracks and learn how to utilize freetime to benefit my mind/body.
Everyone who knows me, is aware of how much I despise numbers (i.e.math) yet numbers and time ruled my life…don’t get me wrong they still do. No one is perfect, but it is a hell of a lot better than it was. We can’t get away from numbers for good or else we’d always miss the bus or leave too little or too much tip.
Being in a city this large allows everyone to be who they want to be, to have anonymity, but allows a person to find and build their community.
I don’t open up to people. Finding friends is easy, but maintaining any relationship for me is pulling teeth. Not that I don’t want friends, I LOVE THEM! I fear the rejection that comes along with any opportunity or any relationship. It becomes easier to say no and avoid invites and situations that could potentially be full of rejection and awkward moments than to test the waters.
The fact that I have initiated “friends dates” (the term I like to use for “please be my friend” hangouts) and hung out with said friends more than once, are leaps and bounds of improvement. I mean, I like alone time, but there is such a thing as too much alone time and I want to avoid that. I learned my lesson last year.
If I’ve learned nothing else the past year it is how much having friends for support are necessary for survival. The past 12 months have particularly shown me how much I need them (and hopefully they need me) to navigate the world.
Here’s to another year.
I hope that it be filled with less emergency and urgency.
I hope it be filled with adventures with new friends and old friends.
I hope that my only emergencies are frozen yogurt trips and refilling of my chocolate stash.
I hope to make more life long friends.
I hope to love my job and find personal satisfaction within my role.
I hope to grow even more and continue to learn about myself and the world along the way.
In celebration of my birthday I’m seeing this group! Woohoo!